Cannes 2015: Michael Caine has press giggling at Cannes

Michael Caine was in top form at a press conference for his latest film, Youth, by Paolo Sorrentino — and had journalists in fits of laughter with his witty responses. Here are some of the highlights:

On why he hasn’t been to cannes for decades:

“I came to Cannes 50 years ago with a movie called Alfie. Alfie won a prize and I didn’t, so I never came back. I’m not going all that way for nothing.”

On the downside of ageing:

In “the poster for the movie it’s us two old guys in a swimming pool looking at a beautiful girl with no clothes on and I think that describes Youth. We’re just looking at what we lost and what we’re never going to get again. And it’s very sad. The poster makes me cry.”

On youngsters not knowing his older work:

“I get stopped in the streets by 12-year-olds and asked for my autograph. They have no idea who I am. I’m Batman’s butler, that’s all it is.”

On choices for older actors:

“The only alternative to playing elderly people is playing dead people. So I’m quite smart, I picked elderly people.”

On meeting Queen Elizabeth:

“She knighted me once... and I nearly got into trouble because she said ... ‘I have a feeling you have been doing what you do for a very long time.’ And I almost said: ‘And so have you.’ Michael, keep your mouth shut — you’re about to lose your knighthood.”

On the queen’s humour:

“I was at a party with her once and there was a very dull man on her other side and she eventually turned to me and said: ‘Mr Caine, do you know any jokes?’ I said: ‘None that I can tell you’ ... She has a great sense of humour.”